Telephone
by Collie Parkillo
Summary: On a completely normal day, Roger's household got a phone call. Unfortunately, it was not a well-wishing relative or a telemarketer, but something entirely different and vastly more annoying and awkward. Twoshot.
1. Chapter 1

**Author'****s Note: Okay, I just love Rogice. What else can I say? **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Flies. **

_Telephone_

On a completely normal day in the Dessner household, the phone rang.

This was a normal occurrence. Often it was just a relative calling to say hello or check up on how Roger was doing, perhaps suggest a therapist despite the fact that it'd been two years since he'd been on that blasted island.

He really wished people would just forget about it. Really, it hadn't been such a big deal. All he'd done was kill a fat kid with a rock and throw some stones at annoying little boys. Alright, fine, maybe it _was _a big deal, but there was no cause to constantly bother him about it as though it was a recent event.

Really, it'd been two years. Jack and Roger still found it extremely awkward to talk to each other about anything, but that didn't mean that it'd happened recently and he still needed Grandpa Nicky telling him how _brave _he'd been and how proud he was of him. Grandpa Nicky had Alzheimer's anyways.

Roger didn't feel like pulling himself off the couch, so his mother went over to the phone. "Hello?" She nodded at whatever the caller had said. "Roger, it's for you. A boy called Maurice."

A look of horror passed across Roger's face. Not _that _Maurice. The one who he'd smashed a bunch of littlun sandforts with and thrown some stones with just because it was fun. "Roger? Do you know this boy?"_  
_

"No, Mom. Tell him to go away."

She spoke into the phone. "Roger says he doesn't know you." There was a long pause, Maurice was presumably babbling on and on about something, and then Roger's mother said, "Roger, he was on the island with you and wants to talk to you."

"I don't care." He could just imagine Maurice making a begging face, blue eyes wide, and sighed. "Fine. Let me talk to him."

His mother handed him the phone and he immediately heard Maurice's hyper, much too happy voice. "Hi, Roger!"

"What do you want?"

"To have a conversation with you. Duh." The strange thing about this was that Roger could picture all the expressions Maurice would be making were they having this conversation in person.

"But why?"

Maurice giggled. "Do I need a reason?"

"Yes." Roger rolled his eyes. "Give me one good reason to talk to you or I'll hang up."

"I just haven't seen you in like, two years! I missed you!" He could hear Maurice's big, goofy smile through the phone. "I was just thinking about you. I didn't want to call Jack because he's boring."

Roger sighed. Maurice, despite his annoyingness, was very, very hard to get rid of. There was something about his stupidity that just compelled you to keep talking to him. "What did you want to say?"

Maurice paused for a minute or so. "Well...uh...I don't know. Hi. How's life?"

"It was good until you interrupted my TV show." There were a couple minutes of silence, and Roger felt a little bad. "Okay, fine, I missed you too."

"Really?"

"God, you know how much it annoys me when people ask that!"

"Really?"

"Oh no."

"Do you want to come visit me sometime? I don't live too far away."

Roger's eyes bugged out. "You know where I _live?" _This would only mean trouble for him. He could just imagine Maurice at his door, coming into his room whenever he felt like it.

"Yeah, I looked it up. Why?"

"That's creepy."

"You're one to talk." Roger couldn't help but laugh. "I mean, we kinda stomped on some little kids' dreams on the island, right? And you looked _so _creepy with all that facepaint on!"

Roger would have glared at him, but then he realized that this was a phone call and not a real life conversation. And he was sort of beginning to wish that it was a face-to-face conversation. It would be far more fun to talk to Maurice in person. "You just looked like you'd eaten something really gross and it got all over your face."

"I ate a pig's foot. Or at least I tried to."

Roger almost gagged. "Too much info, Maurice."

"Anyways, wanna come over to my house on Saturday?"

"And do what?"

"I dunno. Talk."

"About what?"

"Why do you ask so many questions?"

Roger snorted. "Speak for yourself." If he had a dollar for every time Maurice asked a question, and then ten dollars for every time it was an extremely stupid one, he would be rich and able to pay for retirement and proper healthcare far into his future. Unlike Grandpa Nicky and his late grandmother who had gotten hit by a bus.

On the other end of the line, Maurice was trying not to giggle. Roger hadn't changed a bit. He was still unable to take a joke and thought that he asked too many questions. "It'd be fun. I haven't had a friend to talk to since like, forever."

It was true. He hadn't made any friends in school. Unlike in Roger's case, no one really cared that he'd survived being on an island with a bunch of savage boys, witnessed two murders, and bullied a bunch of little kids. They just barely acknowledged it and some congratulated him on getting back alive.

Roger felt a bit bad hearing this. Maurice, for all his idiocy, was a nice kid. He would have expected him to have maybe a few friends. He'd probably had some before the island, but then again, being on an island and coming back covered in warpaint and half-naked probably didn't make the best impression on the normal-ish students.

"Okay, fine, I'll ask my mom about it. But I still don't get what we're going to do."

Maurice shrugged. "I don't know. Stuff."

"How specific."

Then, out of nowhere, Maurice asked. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

He turned red. "Why would you ask that?"

"Roger has a girlfriend, Roger has a girlfriend," teased Maurice in a sing-song voice. Roger felt his cheeks redden even more even though he did not, in fact, have a girlfriend.

"No, I don't have one."

"That's good," said Maurice cheerily.

What Maurice had said took a few minutes to register in Roger's brain. "Wait...what?"

.

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**I hope that was at least tolerable. This is somewhat dedicated to Nightkill because she writes awesome Rogice and mentioned me in one of her fanfictions. If you have not already, check out her Rogice fanfiction because it's amazing. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Remember how I said that this was a oneshot? Well, I lied. It's a twoshot.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Roger, Maurice, or Lord of the Flies.**

_Chapter Two_

After that awkward phone call, Roger told his mother that he was going to Maurice's house Saturday. He had said he would ask her, but then again, Roger never asked for anything, just demanded them and those who dared to challenge his demands faced the wrath of angry Roger. So his mother usually complied to his needs, especially since he tended to throw things when not given what he wanted.

When Saturday finally came along, Roger thought this over one last time. Maurice was annoying, hyper, and a bit weird. But there was something…endearing to all that. And he supposed that they were friends. And maybe Maurice had gotten less annoying. When he stepped out of the car, he was nearly knocked into the street by a blur of brown hair and blue eyes throwing itself on him.

Maurice had not lost his love of touching things, and had hugged Roger so hard that he was beginning to wonder if he was going to pass out from loss of air. "Maurice, get off me," he grunted.

"Hi, Roger!"

Roger's mother stared. "Um, I'll pick you up at five, Roger." Roger blushed and began to try and wriggle out of Maurice's grip. His mother sensed that this was a good moment to leave, and stepped into her car. Maurice's face was still buried in Roger's chest.

"Could you please let go of me? I think my mom thinks I'm gay now."

Maurice had a very difficult time not making a snide remark about how she might be right, but instead said, "Sorry. I was just excited to see you!"

"I can tell."

He finally let Roger go from his vice-like grip and just settled for grabbing his hand and dragging him inside. "My parents aren't home. We can do whatever we want!"

"What did you have in mind?"

"Like I said on the phone, I dunno. Want some food? We've got lots of food." Maurice's house was gigantic and had lots of staircases. The first floor was mostly made up of a gigantic foyer and a dining room, filled with lots of breakable objects. Frankly, Roger had no idea how all of them were still in one piece. Maurice seemed like the type of person who would break everything.

When they got into the kitchen, Maurice didn't even ask what Roger wanted and headed for a giant bowl of candy. "Isn't that a bit unhealthy?"

"So?"

"Do you want to end up looking like Piggy by the time you're twenty?"

Maurice smiled. "Everyone says I eat a lot but I never gain weight."

Another thing to add to Roger's list of annoying qualities Maurice had. Those types of people really annoyed him. Somehow Maurice had manifested into everything that got under his skin. "That's just unnatural."

Maurice, who was still quite short compared to Roger, hopped up onto the counter and began eating chocolate. He looked like he could have been in a commercial, he just looked so innocent and happy and...cute? No. Maurice was not cute at all. Roger wrinkled his nose and tried to think about something disgusting to purge that thought from his mind. Simon's corpse in the ocean. Piggy's brains on a rock. Ah, that was better. "You okay? You look like you're going to hurl."

"Good."

"How is that good?"

"Nevermind."

"Anyways, want a chocolate?" Maurice put on his big, dumb smile and didn't even wait for Roger to answer, just shoved it into his hands.

"No, I'm fine."

"They're really good," said Maurice in a sing-song voice, almost teasing him.

"Ok, fine." He ate the chocolate, if only to shut Maurice up. It _was _good. "Certainly tastes better than all that pig we ate on the island."

"I'm pretty sure I got food poisoning from that. I vomited like the whole ride back." Roger grimaced, recalling how many times Maurice had stuck his head over the side of the boat and he'd heard unpleasant noises coming from his mouth. Somewhere in the ocean, fish were choking from that.

"Don't remind me."

"I can't help that get seasick easily!" Maurice said defensively, popping another chocolate in his mouth. "Want to go up and eat this in my room?"

"Sure." Maurice dragged him up about four flights of stairs. "How many stairs does your house have?"

"A lot."

"I can see that."

"My room's on the top floor!" Roger was not entirely sure why this was a good thing. That meant that Maurice had to walk down four flights of stairs just to get breakfast. The smaller boy seemed unusually lively, though, he was running up the stairs like a mountain goat.

Finally, they reached Maurice's room. It was surprisingly bare, just a twin bed and a television, with a wardrobe and a bookshelf on one wall. There weren't any posters or anything on the walls. Roger had always expected that he'd have a room totally covered in promotional posters or something. "Seems kinda bare."

"I haven't redecorated in awhile." Maurice smiled apologetically and flopped on his bed, which was far too big for him and probably could have fit at least four people on it. Roger sat down on it. "Is yours all super decorated or something?"

He had to admit that it wasn't. "No. Mine is a lot smaller, too."

Maurice blushed. "I'm not sure why my bedroom is so big."

"Your bed is _gigantic." _

"Then why are you sitting all the way on the edge of it?"

Roger rolled his eyes. "Isn't that how you normally sit on someone else's bed?"

Maurice got up from his panther-like position on the bed and went to sit next to Roger. As usual, he was uncomfortably close. Roger moved over, and Maurice kept moving over to keep the same distance between them, until he had finally pushed Roger almost next to the headboard. "Can you stop moving?"

"Nope!" Maurice said.

Roger sighed. "I've forgotten how annoying you are."

Maurice looked slightly hurt. "Really? Did you miss me at least a _little?" _Roger gave some thought to it. There was something endearing about Maurice, even though he was irritating. And he was nice, at least, and even though he had the brain of the five-year-old, somewhat fun to talk to.

Roger, who almost never smiled, did just that. "No, I didn't. I missed you a_ lot." _Maurice's face lit up, and he leaned towards Roger as though he was going to hug him again, and Roger unfortunately couldn't lean back and get away. And maybe just for once, he didn't really want. And Maurice did something entirely unexpected.

He kissed Roger.

Roger, who was annoyed by everything he did and always wore black. Roger, who had thrown stones at little boys. Roger, who had smashed sandcastles with him.

Maurice pulled back and after a few minutes of awkward silence. Finally, Roger broke it by saying, "Well, my mom will definitely think I'm gay now."

"Maybe she's right." Maurice put on a stupid, lovesick smile, and for once, Roger didn't mind it.

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**That ends this twoshot :D Hope you enjoyed! **


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